Crippled
by novicewriter
Summary: After the unfortunate events of The Killing Joke, Babara Gordon and Dick Grayson struggle to keep their love alive. Barbara/Dick
1. Chapter 1

Okay, bare with me, This is the first story I've posted for years. My long term girlfriend and I write Batman Fanfictions for fun, and it also gives us something to talk about besides work and college. I write the Barbara POV and female roles, and she writes Dick, Bruce, Alfred, and just about every male role. I re-read these to make sure there are no blaring, obvious mistakes, but sometimes things do happen.

I don't own any characters in the DC universe.

Barbara POV

I walk out of the shower and start to towel dry. I love Dick, but its nice sometimes to be alone and take a warm shower listening to my music. Dick is out right now, busy scanning the city I'm sure. There have been quite a few brutal murders lately, he even teamed up with Bruce to help, which isn't normal for him since he became Nightwing. Normally his partner is my job, but I don't mind the time alone for now.

I wrap a towel around my hair and tie my robe on. I open the door and the steam streams out of the room. I turn around to grab my hairbrush then hear a gunshot and fall down. I didn't feel any pain, but I know I should be in some. I look around and see a pool of blood forming around my back. I flip myself over then pain shoots up my spine. I hear a cackle from where I can't see, it's even louder than my screaming, it's the Joker's laugh. "That should keep you grounded little bat. Don't worry you'll bleed out soon, it wont last to long." I hear footsteps receeding and then the front door shut. My eye lids are fluttering closed even though I'm now on my stomach and no longer bleeding outright.. I reach for my beeper on the toilet lid, I knock it over by some miracle and send one word before I fade completely, "help." I just hope Dick comes.

I wake up in a hospital bed. The last thing I remember is the Joker. I try to sit up but can't even move my head. I feel groggy and sore. I look around and my father is here. He's always there when things are safe again, things must be alright. "Dad, what happened,, how long have I been out?" He looks at me shocked and a little sad.

"You've been in a medical coma for 3 weeks while you healed, you were shot by the Joker." I stare at him in awe, how could it have possibly been that long. Three weeks, where is Dick?

"Where is Dick? He must have come to get me when I sent that text, where is he now?" My dad looks even more-sad and I start to worry.

"No one has seen him in almost two weeks, I don't think he could handle the news." I see tears brimming in his eyes and suddenly a realization occurs to me.

"Why can't I move my legs?" I feel the panic rising in my throat like a bouncy ball. My heart is pounding. "Please answer, Dad."

"You're paralyzed form the hips down, doctors believe that with enough physical therapy you may get some returning feeling to your toes and a little lower on your thighs, but you'll never walk again Babs…" I try to stay calm, Dad wouldn't be able to handle it if I freaked out.

"Dad, can I have a minute… I need to be alone, this has to sink in…"

"Of course Baby girl." He kisses my forehead and leaves. I have an MIA boyfriend, no legs, can no longer do what I love… I feel like maybe I should have never sent that text, I should have just died. I hear the door creak open and I try to wipe away my tears. It's Bruce, he gives me a small smile and sits down next to me.

"Hey, how're you doing?" He gives me a grin and I try to smile back, but it must be more of a grimace.

"I've definitely been better…. Have you heard from Dick?" I'm upset, I can't believe that we've been dating for five years and he wont be here to help me through this.

"He is just having some problems accepting things, I'm sure he will be here soon. I've let him know that you're awake, I'm sure he is speeding here as we speak. As if on a schedule there is a knock and then Dick opens it. I break into a smile and the tears start falling again, for a minute I thought he had left me for good. Bruce stands up and leaves and Dick takes his place and holds my hand. He seems a million miles away. "Dick, thank god you're here, you came. I've been so worried, I thought you weren't going to come back… I know this changes a lot of stuff."

"Yeah, it does Babs… That's actually what I need to talk about." Another pit starts to form in my stomach, that doesn't sound good at all.

"Well, shoot I guess." I choke out finally over the lump in my throat.

"Barbara, I can't do this, I can't handle this. I need more freedom, and right now Gotham needs me to be Nightwing… I can't take care of you Barbara, not the way you need me to. I already set something up with Bruce, he'll pay for you to have full time nurse in the apartment, I have a new place. I love you Babs, I'm sorry it has to go this way." Before I can reply he stands up and leaves. I feel my heart crumple to nothing and flake away inside my chest. He shuts the door behind him and I'm alone.

I hear people knocking on the door, as much as I hate the idea of seeing anyone, I can't stand up and lock it. No one comes in, they must know I need a moment, or a lifetime, to get over what just occurred. No legs, no boyfriend, nurse 24/7. Can't take care of me the way I need him to…. I can hear Bruce and my dad talking outside the door about what to do, Bruce knew Dick would do this. Now I have to hate him to.

DICK POV

I honestly hate myself. I should have never left her…but I know I couldn't take care of her. Not right now. I know how Bruce feels now, I know exactly how he feels. I love Barbara but I'm not Superman. She has every reason to hate me. I would hate me too if I were her. It's been such a long time since I've seen her and it kills me inside. I regret leaving her there in that hospital room like that. I should have stayed since it was fault to begin with. She wouldn't be in this situation if I hadn't of left. I should have never left…this is my entire fault. And the Joker, that man, I could kill him. He has no idea of sanctity, not a thought for something as priceless as Barbara.

I honestly haven't done much since the accident. I've sat in my living room and drank myself into a tizzy a few times. Other than that I just sit here and think. Some times I write Barbara a letter and once I finish I rip it up and throw it away. She doesn't want to hear from me anyway so I might as well get rid of it. A love letter is useless when the woman hates you.

I've talked with Bruce a bit but it was nothing but an update. I don't think she is doing well…but I can understand why. I wonder if she misses me… I miss her. I've gone to her surgeries and I always check up on her. I just don't have the nuts to do it face to face I suppose. I should get used to it. I doubt she will ever miss me. Good riddance…right?

Okay, I'm sure there are grammatical errors and everything else. My girlfriend and I write these Batman fanfictions for fun, and this is the first story I've posted since I was in 9th grade. Now I'm a freshman in college, and to be honest, I don't have the spare time to correct something I do for fun. Please read and review, and don't be to harsh, I am not an English major. :P


	2. Chapter 2

Hope you guys like this. All of the chapters are pre-written so it is just a read through process before posting, but I do like reviews please

Barbara POV 3

I can hear the nurse open my front door, I feel bad for her. Bruce was trying to be nice, having a live in nurse to keep me company. The doctors say that I'll have enough mobility to take care of myself in a few months, but until then I need one. Also, we're working on getting me a handicapped safe place to live with short cabinets and bars in the bathroom and all on one story because stairs are dumb. The lift is not an option for me, I would hate myself every time I used it.

She opens the door and helps me get dressed. I can almost do it by myself, now three weeks and 2 additional surgeries for tissue damage and internal bleeding after the accident I am getting enough arm strength that it isn't so awkward to lift my useless legs. I can also almost get myself onto the toilet by myself. I try to lift weights everyday, I want to be strong enough to do this as soon as possible. Plus my poor nurse has to lift me up onto the toilet for now because much like the stair lift, diapers are not going to happen, I refuse. I wont be a cripple. I'll still be independent. Which I'm sure my nurse isn't so fond of with me.

"How are you feeling today Ms. Gordon?" She smiles her sweet smile and I try to smile back. I haven't smiled since before this all happened.

"Better as always, only time will tell." I pull on my bra, shirt, and socks, but she has to lift me up so I can pull my jeans on. I'm working on getting a rope or something to pull so I can get myself up on my own, but not yet. I reach over for my chair and yank myself in then adjust my legs.

She smiles, "You're getting better at this, soon you wont need me at all and you can be on your own." I almost smile at that.

"Susan are you saying that because you know I want to hear it, or are you being sincere."

"I wouldn't lie to you." I frown again. Everyone else lies to me, what makes her think she's so much better. I can see why all the villains in this town got there now. It always starts when things change. The joker's scars, the Penguins deformity, Ivy and her plant DNA, it would make anyone go nuts. Being in a wheelchair, suddenly tossed from everything I've always known and into a horrible twisted world where nothing is the same, has given me some pretty dark thoughts to match.

But I'll never get to act on them, I used to be dangerous, now I'm just another cripple who needs a nurse. Another young girl who can't do anything she once did. I fasten the belt close around my hips to keep me upright and I start moving. I move every single day until my arms give out and wont go anymore. Susan worries about me, but I just want to never see her or anyone else again as soon as possible. As soon as I'm deemed able to live on my own, I'll never leave my house again. I'll go out in the middle of the night to buy groceries. I could just be alone until I finally get up the nerve to kill myself… In fact, why wait.

"Susan I need to speak with you." She smiles and turns in my direction.

"What about, Hun." She sits down opposite of me and is ready to listen.

"I don't want you to keep coming, consider yourself fired. I don't need you, I can do this by myself. I want you to leave now." She is definitely stunned.

"I know you hate this Barbara, but you can't live on your own yet. You don't have the strength or ability to get anywhere. You can't cook, you're not ready for this, give it another month. In a month I'm positive you'll be ready to live on your own. It's just a little longer. I worry for you if I left now." She seems so sad and concerned, but I will not be fooled, I know how people like her work, she's just in it for a paycheck, she's just very good at her job.

"Fine, two weeks, and I don't want you full time. 8 hours during the day. I suggest trying to find a new job." She nods and I go over to my weight set, I refuse to live with a nurse. I will not do it.

At least Dick doesn't come see me, he still remembers me as I was, and if all goes according to plan, he'll never have another chance to see me in a goddamn wheelchair, I'll be dead before then. Susan goes to make breakfast and I start lifting weights trying very hard not to cry. I hope I can get the nerve up to die before Dick sees me again.

BRUCE POV

I got a frantic phone call from Susan today, I guess Barbara gave her two weeks to find a new job and get out of the house. I knew Barbara hated it, but I didn't realize as much as she did. I'm afraid of the nurse not being there. Barbara isn't mentally stable right now. Lord knows shed do something stupid. I know that girl, and I know her father.

Jim is a wreck right now, and Dick feels like an asshole, but I don't think Babs blames him much. She understands, I think she's glad he doesn't come see her or anything, it'd be to hard on her ego. She seems to almost revel in the idea of him still only remembering her as the strong person she was. She forgets she is still a strong person, just now she's a different kind of strong person.

Last time she had surgery we were all there, Tim, Dick, Alfred, me, her father. But when she woke up she refused all visitors. She had strict instructions that none of us were to see her at all. When she recovered Susan took her home and she never said a word. Jim says they still get a phone call every night, but I worry what all this reclusing is about, and Susan can't tell us because of doctor patient confidentiality. That doesn't cover Suicidal behavior though, Susan is allowed to tell us that, so it must be okay in that respect, or Babs is a really good secret keeper. Having a detective father would do that though.

I sit down and put my head in my hands. I wish there was something I could do. I feel so responsible. If I had never let her be Batgirl, the Joker would have no reason to do this. I feel like this is all my fault.

Dick POV

I can't believe I am doing this. I'm walking up the long drive to Wayne Manor so I can talk to Bruce. He called and demanded that I come by and talk with him about some things. I just hope Barbara doesn't see me… that's the last thing shed need right now. I know I broke her heart and I abandoned her. I do hate myself for it but I know she can do so much better without me. She's a very strong woman and I pray she knows it.

I knock on the door roughly, (You see, since the door is so big you have to knock loudly or just use the doorbell. But I like to be a hassle, especially to Bruce, so I knock, and Alfred answers as quick as magic. "Good Afternoon Master Dick." He smiles politely and opens the door further allowing me to walk in. I sigh with the faint memories that play through my mind. I can still see myself flying around on the banisters following Alfred into the hidden door that leads to the Batcave. I wasn't very sneaky back then but it was all a part of my charm.

"Dick, It's nice to see you again." And there is the big man himself, Bruce. I give a bland smile and follow him into the living room off to the side. "I'm glad you came. I have some important things to discuss with you." The way he is talking it sounds like something is wrong. I hope nothing bad happened to Barbara…

"Is something wrong?" He chuckles under his breath lightly and sits down on the expensive-looking couch. It's nearly a mocha color and it reminds me of deep fall.

"Well, sort of. Dick I know I can trust you and its important." Just spit it out Bruce. I don't have the time to sit here all day and just listen to you babble. "…I need a new Batman. I asked you to come here so I could ask you about taking over for me. I'm getting old Dick and I can't continue on being something I'm not right now."

"Ugh…wow. Why me though?" I'm honestly stunned. He never trusted me; so how does he want me to be Batman if he can't trust me?

"Dick, I know you. I trust you. Especially with this. You have the training and the knowledge to be able to be Batman. You're the most qualified out of all of the options.

"Bru-" My voice disappears as I hear a small noise, causing me to turn towards to doorway. My eyes meet Barbra's for a split second before we both initially panic. I stand up and start to move towards the door while she moves herself backwards. She shouldn't see me here. I need to go.

"Get back here you two." Bruce's strong voice pulls me back to the present day. I stop moving and turn around again. I look back at where Barbara was and see her getting pushed back in by a nurse. Babs looks like she wants to kill someone. I know she doesn't want to be here now, but I think she doesn't want me seeing her even more. I don't blame her; it's my fault after all. She is trying to move herself backwards while the nurse pushes her forward. She eventually gives up and is wheeled up to the coffee table in front of Bruce. "Dick, sit down."

I don't want to though. I want to go. I need to go. I give and move back around the couch and sit down. She is watching me ever so slightly. I wonder what's on her mind. "Hello Dick. How have you been?"

"Hey Babs…" is all I can choke out before a lump forms in my throat. Her nurse's eyes grow big for a moment. She must know who I am… I wonder what has been said about me. Never mind it's not a big deal. Bruce looks back at me and continues where he was before the interruption.

"So, what do you say Dick?"

I swallow slightly and sigh. "Ya… I'll do it." He smiles gratefully and looks over at Babs. She has a juice in her hand and is sipping on it occasionally.

"Now, Barbara. I need to ask you something."

She takes another sip of the small juice. "Okay, shoot."

"I want to offer you your old job back."

Her eyes grow wide and I about die. My breath is caught in my lungs before I can object.

"Woah! What? Bruce are you blind?" My thoughts exactly.

"It's not exactly your old job, but I think you will like it." He gives her a small smile. "Plus you get to watch out for his sorry butt again. I know you had fun with that."

"Ya, but what would I be doing Bruce?" Please just stop Bruce. I can't let her do this. I can't let her be apart of Batman anymore.

"It's a behind the scenes type of work. He does the dirty work while you supply him with all the information he needs. You have complete access to everything in the cave and you get to boss Dick around. He needs his partner back. He is useless without you." My jaw drops and I about lunge across the table at Bruce. I swear I'm going to kill him! Batman is what got Barbara into this mess and I wont let it go any further.

She stares at Bruce slightly shocked by what he just said. "I'll have to think about it. I'll let you both know tonight." I close my eyes and give a heavy sigh. The pounding in my heart isn't right and I hate myself for saying yes. I should have known better. I can't do this to her again. I wont do this.

YAY! Okay so here is our next set. I hope you all like it. Please review they make me want to keep posting these as I re-read them


	3. Chapter 3

Here we go again…

BARBARA POV 5

I can't believe Bruce thinks I'll make a good partner. I can barely take care of myself let alone Dick from the sidelines at that. And Dick seemed really unenthused about the whole deal, he must truly be over me already. But in all fairness, I don't even want to take care of myself, why would he want to take care of me?

I take the bus back to my lonely apartment with Susan, today is her last day, She found a different job with another cripple. I guess I'm glad for her. It'll be easier to disappear quietly without her constantly wanting me to socialize with people.

I go up the elevator with Susan for hopefully the last time, and once I'm in my apartment she is gone for good. All she got was a "thanks so much" and a slam in the face. I'm sure she hated me and is glad to be gone. I wheel myself over to the couch and lift myself over to it and turn on cartoons, but I don't really watch them.

I pick up my phone and do something I rarely do now, text Dick. "Hey so… do you want me to be your partner?" It's dark out, he is probably busy enjoying his last night as Nightwing. I don't expect a reply, but I get one anyway.

"Like I always said, no one could replace you Babs. If you're in I am. I just want you to be careful." I cringe when he says that. He never had to tell me stuff like that before all of this, and now I have to be careful everywhere I go.

"Yeah I know. Well… if you're cool with it, I'll do it."

"Alright Barbara, I'll tell Bruce tonight. See you tomorrow at say, 8pm?"

"Yeah, that'll work." I put my phone away and stare at the ceiling. I wonder if this will throw a wrench in my suicide plan? There I go again, I feel like I'm afraid to be happy again. Like if I get to content this way, something worse will happen so I should just stay down. I don't know if that is healthy or not.

THE NEXT DAY AT 8:30PM

I arrive at Wayne manor frazzled and half an hour late. I haven't replied to Bruce or Dick's calls or texts because I know they'd offer to come get me. It takes twice as long to do anything when you can't walk. I finally ring the doorbell and Alfred answers. "Oh, thank goodness you're here safely Miss Gordon." He wants to take my coat, I can tell, but he is unsure how to go about it with the chair in the way. I just shrug it off and hand it to him. "Thank you."

He takes it away with him and I roll towards the entrance to the Batcave. I take the rickety shaft that Bruce likes to call the elevator and end up downstairs. They both seem to let out sighs of relief when I come in, I wish people didn't have to worry about me.

Bruce smiles and I try again to smile back, but it never comes. Dick notices. I used to smile a lot, now I barely look up. "Glad you made it Barbara, you know how to do everything, Dick is about to head out, use this headset to communicate with him. And same goes for you Dick." He smiles again, he must be excited to no longer be Batman. He goes up the stairs, leaving dick and I alone.

"Well, I guess we better start. I'm just going to be patrolling tonight, if anything happens I'll contact you, same goes for you contacting me." He is no longer the Dick I dated and loved, he is putting on a strong mask to hide that this is super awkward for him to.

"Yeah, okay. Anything you need me to be looking out for, or need to look up for you." He thinks for a moment before responding.

"Nope, I think we're okay." He smiles and then jumps in the Batmobile and leaves. It's weird seeing him in the cape and cowl. I sit back, and it hits me that I am of absolutely no use, Bruce did this to make me feel better, not because Dick needs a partner… I type my name into the system, Bruce hasn't updated it yet, next to a picture of me and another picture of me as batgirl, It still reads:

Barbara Gordan, AKA Batgirl

Age: 22

Skills and Description: Red hair, thin, muscular build, green eyes. Superior flips and jumps, flies from building to building with ease. Able to hide well in dark shadows, and is currently partner to long time boyfriend Richard Grayson AKA Nightwing. Very fast, agile, and strong. Well trained in martial arts and in disappearing quickly.

I change a few things, I delete the photo of batgirl, she is no more. I get rid of my AKA. I change my skills and description to: Red hair, thin, green eyes. Sits in the Batcave and watches from the sidelines. Is never needed. Severely depressed and alone.

I click enter and save it there. Under accomplishments I delete all the villains I've defeated, everything I ever did while training under Bruce, and I replace it with "Got shot in the back and stopped doing anything. Bruce now uses her as his charity case out of guilt. Dick humors him." I save again then sit back and twiddle my thumbs. Dick doesn't need me. And that thought stings at my eyes, reassured by reading over my new bio I lose it and burst into tears, removing my headset so Dick wont accidentally hear me.

I am nothing anymore, just another pity party.

A FEW HOURS AFTER THAT I SUPPOSE

I get gently shaken awake by dick, some first night on the job, I took off the headset and fell asleep. "Hey sleepy head, what if I had needed something?" He smiles at his own wit and I grimace back.

"Sorry, I fell asleep." I quickly exit out of my new profile, praying that Dick didn't read it, he probably didn't, he isn't much for technology most days. Not for profiles with no pictures anyway.

"Do you need a lift home?" He seems sincere, but the last thing I want to do is remind him of why he left me in the first place.

"I can take the bus, or crash here, it's getting late. You go on home, I'll see you again same time tomorrow night." I try to smile, but I feel like my face is breaking in half. I wish it didn't hurt to be happy. I wish it came naturally like it used to.

"I don't want you to take the bus, it's 3am. Just let me drive, I don't mind, seriously." I nod almost defeated.

"I just don't want you to have to carry me into the car then get my chair to fit, then carry me back into my chair. It's to much trouble."

He nods and then smiles his charming smile, "It is a lot of work, but I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't up to it."

"I just-" he cuts me off again.

"I insist" I nod of and I start rolling towards the elevator. He gets on with me, I think he can tell I'm getting exhausted with pushing myself around. The muscles in my arms keep shaking. "Why don't you get an electric chair, Babs?"

I ponder the right words to say, then give up because I'm half asleep. I'll just be blunt. "Because, I feel like if I just sit on my ass and steer a chair all day I'll become some lazy fat ass, and then absolutely no one will want me." He seems slightly stunned by what I said then he sighs and we move on. I try to ignore the blatant obvious fact that he didn't defend my worth at all. I really am nothing.

We walk out onto the lawn and towards Bruce's many garages where he parks his expensive cars. Dick has a black Mustang, push to start. I used to have one in baby blue, but I gave it to my dad, and he traded it for something more his type. I miss driving, it was always one of my favorite things to do. We get to his car and I get onto the passenger side. He opens the door.

"So do you want me to help, or do you have this covered." I look up at him with sad eyes. I hate this. I should have taken the bus, or stayed at Bruce's.

"There is nothing to hold onto, I'm going to need help." I look down at my feet.

"Alright, so just, pick you up?" He seems awkward, but almost excited to help. Maybe he likes being so much better than me, I don't know. I know it's not love.

"Yeah, but if you don't want to you shouldn't. I'll just go back up to Wayne manor and crash there… like I said, it's a lot of trouble." I just keep looking at my shoes. My left lace is about to come undone, that'll be a pain in the ass to fix.

"It's not a problem, Babs, I promise." He scoops me up into his arms and cradles me against his chest. He seems to hold me there longer than he has to, but it's probably my imagination. I smile for the first time since all of this started. But the happiness has to end at some point. He puts me into my seat and I do my buckle. He puts my chair in the back of the car, and then hops in the drivers side and starts the car.

As we're driving I watch out the window, everything speeding by, faster than I'll ever move again. And it felt so nice being in his arms, it made me feel like I could dance. Too soon we're at the lonely empty apartment that we used to share and now I live in alone. I don't even know what his new place looks like.

He stops on the sidewalk and pulls out and unfolds my chair. Then he opens my door and picks me up again. It doesn't feel the same as the first time, at least not for him, I can tell. It's much faster, less slow and thoughtful. He must have just been being careful with me before. Right as I'm about to head in without a word he speaks up, "Maybe want some company for a bit. May as well stay up all night, it's your job again, you're back to being nocturnal."

I nod and he flows me up the ramp. My arms are quaking like jello, I don't even know if I'll be able to make it into the elevator and onto my floor. I push myself along, hissing with the pain in my arms. Finally I give, I'm no wonder woman. "Dick, mind pushing me?"

"I thought you'd never ask." He replies. I almost smile again.

DICK POV 6

God this place looks like hell. Barbara just opened the door and I can tell I'm not going to like this much. The first thing I notice is that it doesn't smell like Barbara. It smells of a thick fabreeze scent. It almost makes me gag. All of the pictures on the walls are missing, like someone disposed of useless garbage. Those were important pictures… 5 years of our relationship was on these walls. So I guess in a way I don't blame her at all. We move down the hall and into what used to be our living room/ dining room combo. The table is gone and is replaced with a small weight set. I suppose that is for her therapy. I look around even more and notice a squished pillow and a wrinkled comforter tossed on the couch. It makes me sad to realize that this is her bed now. She should be in our old bed all comfortable and rested. Most of the furniture is missing too… it's odd, but it makes sense because its only the chairs without armrests that are gone. This stuff is all fine and dandy but the thing that really gets to me is that there are curtains. Barbara NEVER liked curtains. She was big on the whole "natural light" thing. It brought a healthy glow to the home and I'll tell you, this isn't healthy anymore. I'm down right concerned.

"Babs…Do you even like it here anymore?" I move towards the couch and take a seat.

"Well I don't know. It's where I sleep but I don't really think its home. I don't think I could have a home." She gets this sad look on her face and starts rubbing the undersides of her right thigh. That's right, she needs to have her legs rubbed to keep the circulation good. I wonder if shed let me help…

"Of course you can have a home. Everyone needs a home." Before she can say anything I scoop her up and move her onto the couch, with her resting against the pillow. I move my hands to the leg she was rubbing and continue the work. She gasps lightly as the sudden movement and instantly regains herself.

"I can't have a home. I've accepted that I'd never be comfortable again; I'll always have to rely on someone. And you don't have to rub those; they're fine.

"I want to though. I want you to be comfortable. Plus I like rubbing them. It makes me feel useful." I can't help but give her a playful smile.

"Well as long as I'm helping I suppose. I'm not comfortable though, I hate the curtains that bitch put up, but she insisted it was to light. And I can't get them down. And I don't have any furniture. I have no money to get anything, and I wont ask Bruce because he's already paying my rent." She suddenly bursts out in a squeaky voice. I can see small tears falling from her eyes and something in me just doesn't like that. I move my hand to her face and cradle it there in my palm. My thumb moves and wipes the falling tears away as best as it can.

"Would you be mad if I wanted to help? I can take those curtains down and I have some furniture I'm not using."

"I don't want your furniture Dick. It's part of your home. I'll figure it out." Fresh tears spring to her eyes again and she sobs lightly. "I'll get a disability check in the mail in a week."

I do the only thing I can do and I pull her to my chest and hold her there. "It's okay Babs. I'm right here." She sobs heavily in my arms and I don't know whether she likes me being here or not anymore.

"I'm sorry. I know you didn't want to deal with this. You can go home, I'm not asking you to stay. I don't even want to take care of myself, why would you?"

Her words sting harder than I thought they would but I've had worse, right?

"Because even after 5 years of a committed relationship I care about you. I want to help you. You mean more than you know to me." I can practically feel tears of my own forming in my eyes.

"Then yes, please take down the curtains." Her eyes had widened with surprise for a brief moment before they were clouded up with sadness. She doesn't believe me… My heart just sinks to the bottom of my stomach and I don't honestly know what to do.

"Alright. So I'm taking those curtains off and if its okay with you I want to rub your sore legs until they are better. I'd like to stay the night to. I'll even shack up in the chair." I don't think I can recover from this one.

"Alright…I'll go get you a blanket." She moves back onto her chair quickly and leaves for just a few moments. It's long enough for me to practically beat myself up right there. I'm a monster. I should have never left. She comes back with a blanket that reminds me of our first times in this house. It was a gift from Bruce. It had always sat on our bed… I wonder where she has kept it lately.

"Thank you Babs…"

Okay, yeah I know a fluffy chapter, but sometimes that is needed please review


	4. Chapter 4

50 people have read my story, and no reviews. Makes me sad. Well in any case, here's another chapter. How you enjoy.

Barbara POV

I put the blanket onto the couch and pull myself into the old recliner. He's my guest, I may live in a shithole, but he deserves the nicest thing I have. He watches me and I curl my legs into the chair. I can tell he doesn't like it, but he doesn't say anything about it. He grabs one of my legs and starts rubbing life back into it again.

"There used to be a lot of pictures in here, why did you get rid of them?" He seems sad like I'd throw them away.

"They were all of us, standing in Bruce's garden, swinging, going to prom, dancing. I can't do those things anymore, and it made me sad." I look down and he continues rubbing, more for something to do with his hands than to help me at this point.

"Did you throw them away?" I knew he'd think I had.

"No, I put them away in the cedar chest, with family heirlooms, my batgirl costume, and a few other things. Stuff I'll never use again, like high heeled shoes or lingerie." He nods quietly and continues to work on my legs. From the tops of my thighs all the way down to my toes and heels.

"There is always an excuse for lingerie." He smiles at me playfully. I think he's just trying to make me feel better. He's not interested, obviously. Who would be. I'm a mess.

"That part of my life is over."

"If you say so, Babs. I thought it all looked pretty good on you." I can tell he is trying to make light of a horrific situation, but come on Dick, who wants a skinny girl in a wheelchair.

"I don't look the same as I did." I try really hard to sound optimistic and joking, but I choke on the lump in my chest. It hurts to think that I'll probably never have sex again. Never feel that warm cuddle afterwards, never feel that beautiful again.

"Well, I still think you're beautiful." He smiles, I can tell he doesn't want to push it, doesn't want to give me the wrong idea. He's just a nice guy saying nice things. What he is trying to say is, "Someone out there will think you're beautiful."

I pull my legs away from his hands and curl up in the cozy laz-e-boy chair. I sleep like this every night, curled into a ball with my arms around my knees. I can't feel my legs, so when I sleep all spread out like I used to I'll wake up in the middle of the night in a panic thinking they're not even there anymore.

He notices immediately of course, but he decides to keep it to himself. He lays down on the couch and pulls the blanket that we used to always sleep with when we dated over him. I always keep the air on because I'd rather be cold than hot any day and changing the temperature is such a hassle.

"It's cold in here, Barbara." I laugh a little, how odd for me. To laugh.

"Yeah, I can't reach the thermostat, and it's a hassle to change so I just keep it at 55 degrees all the time."

"I can turn it up if you want, then I'll turn it back down when I leave." I can hear him shivering.

"Yeah, as long as you promise to put it back down, I'll be screwed otherwise." He laughs.

"I promise to change it back." He stands up and turns it up to our normal 68 degrees. It immediately feels better.

"Thanks Dick. Night."

"Yeah, sweet dreams." It's the first time we've ever slept in the same room and not said I love you to each other… I still love him. I just wish I could say it, like it isn't obvious.

THE NEXT NIGHT

I wake up half expecting Dick to be long gone, but I was wrong. He is still sound asleep on the couch. It's 7 pm, soon we will have to go to work, but for now maybe I'll try making some "breakfast." I'm feeling baked goods, but I've never done it in a wheelchair. I used to be a wonderful baker… I'll have to try at some point.

I go to the pantry and pull down fixings for blueberry muffins. I mix the ingredients in my lap since the counter is just a bit to high and then use the coffee table to pour the batter into a muffin pan. Dick hasn't stirred, which is nice because I want him to see that I'm doing okay and that there is no need to go telling my dad or Bruce how I live.

I pop them in the oven, and in 14 minutes the timer goes off and they're done. I reach in very carefully with a gloved hand and pull them out. Perfect, just the way I always make them. I get out blueberry syrup and make coffee while they set and cool. Just then Dick walks into the kitchen.

He smiles down at me, "for me?" He puts on his best flattered look.

"Yeah, I suppose I just felt like baking." I shrug , but can't help but smile because he likes the.

"I love it when you bake, it smells like home in here again." He starts to eat feverishly. It's weird, making breakfast at 7 at night. I'm not used to it anymore.

He's all smiles, pouring sticky blueberry syrup all over them then shoving the whole muffin in his mouth. "These are amazing Babs, I'd walk a million miles for some of these." I can't help but full on grin.

"Well, lucky for you, you just have to walk across town." He smiles back at me and pops the last on his 10 in his mouth. I finish my second and then get wipees to the clean the counter and hand one to Dick.

"What's this for?" I laugh at him, it feels so nice to laugh.

"Your face, silly. It's everywhere. You wont look very intimidating as batman with a blue smile." He wipes around his mouth, but he missed some on the very tip of his nose. I grab the wipey and he leans down to me, he must know it's there. I get it for him and he smiles. I smile shyly back.

"I'm not very intimidating anyway, not like Bruce." He smiles softly, but I can hear just a hint of sadness.

I smile, "You'll be a wonderful Batman. Very scary." The sadness goes away.

"We better get going before Bruce starts to worry."

"Yeah, there are still some of your clothes in the closet if you want to change."

"I'll just wear these, I'll be in the Batsuit in no time anyway."

"I'll just shower and then I'll be ready." He nods and turns on some television, I hate showering now, I used to love it, but now it is just such a chore. I would die of happiness if this dreary place had a bathtub. I had a dream last night about a Jacuzzi tub. I turn on the water, and pull myself over the backed stool that sits directly under the water. After about 20 minutes I hear a knock.

"Babs, are you okay in there?" I sigh, saw this one coming.

"Yeah, I'm fine, you would know if I fell."

"Alright, if you need anything just let me know okay."

"I need an apartment with a bathtub!"

"I could arrange that you know?" I smile, he'd give me the world, as long as he didn't need to feel guilt over me.

"Yeah, I'll live without one." I try to move back into my chair, but I slip and fall, I hit the ground with my hip, hard. I hear him knock again.

"Babs? You okay?"

"Yeah, just fell, I'll be fine." I heave myself back into my chair and feel the sore spot where I landed. I must thank Susan, she put in a soft cushion thing on the floor of my shower just for this reason, if I fall it doesn't hurt as much.

I struggle with my clothing for about 15 minutes before everything is finally on and in place. I open the bathroom door and Dick is right there, worried and waiting.

"Dick, I'm fine, this is a daily struggle for what's left of my beauty." I try to smile, but it's back to being hard. For a few hours I almost forgot about my life. But tonight, I'll be here again, alone. And Dick with be walking around without me.

"You're beautiful, Babs. Try not to forget it."

"Alright." We get down to his car and he insists on hauling me into it and then hauling me out, which I don't mind, but I could have easily taken the bus and he wouldn't have had to do anything for me. We walk into Wayne Manor together and Bruce smiles like he knew we would show up together. Little does he know that nothing has changed.


	5. Chapter 5

Dick POV

SEVERAL WEEKS OF PARTNERSHIP LATER

Have I ever mentioned that I hate nights like these? No? Well now I have. Gotham is nothing pretty and at night it really shows its true colors. During the day people are convinced that it's a wonderful enchanted city, but in all honesty it is nothing but rubbish. It is the scum bucket capital of the world. I look down near the docks and watch as the man who destroyed everything in my life goes on without a care. He murdered my parents and paralyzed Babs. He should pay for it. He deserves to pay for it…but Bruce wouldn't agree. That's the difference between Bruce and myself; if I could I would go beyond his sacred line.

From what I can tell the men, The Joker's men, are loading crates into the back of a van. Only God knows what could be in those. Kittens stuffed with cyanide, Jack in the Boxes that will rip your face off when it pops open…only God knows what that monster could be up to this time.

_Bloop. Bloop Bloop._

I press the soft spot of my cowl that is set up to receive manual radio transmission and allow Oracle to proceed with her findings.

"Hey, I've intercepted the men's radio frequencies. The guy in the red jacket informed us that the Joker would be there any minute. They seem to be in a hurry. It sounds like they are moving to a new hideout. It'd probably be a good idea to follow them." I sigh slightly at the sound of her voice and move from my crouched position on the building top above the men.

"I imagine so. Too bad. I was actually looking for a bit of a fight tonight." I growl. I don't think it's anything on Bruce's but I think I put up a good imitation.

"Yeah, sorry to burst your testosterone mojo, but don't kill anyone. He's around the corner. Follow the van." I glance over the edge of the building and see the van move around the corner into the alley. From there the purple pin-strip menace makes his exit from the back door and climbs into the van.

"I sometimes hate my job. Do you ever get that feeling too?" I sigh and take a running leap across the gap between my building and the next. I land with my heavy boots making a solid "crunch" and I'm sure I land on a bird or some other poor soul. My next few steps are to merely remove the goop from my shoe. "Do you have any ideas as to where they are headed?"

Her voice chimes in and it almost startles me out of my skin. I'm definitely not used to that. "They said 150th and Vine Avenue and I'd sure like to think that my job is pretty okay." She's as optimistic as ever. That's my Babs. I smile at an old memory that pops into my head suddenly. Batman doesn't smile. Remember that Dick. I force the corners of my stubble-coated lips down and move quickly. I have to keep up here.

"Babs…Do you remember the night we had to go against Clayface by ourselves? This building just reminded me…" I try to desperately lighten the mood of my night. I have no idea how Bruce was able to be so dark for such a long period of time. I usually get home and just want to smile at anything.

Water splashes up from the ground as I land in a puddle. It splatters across my legs with a sudden chill that creeps its way up my spine. I hate the cold winter nights of Gotham. "Yeah, I remember that." She giggles softly and it nearly makes me grin again.

I take a sudden leap off of the building as my path comes to a halt. I grapple for the closest thing to me, which just so happens to be a fire escape. Grabbing the rusty bar, I can feel my wrists crack and pop with the force of the landing. I grunt and yank myself onto the stairs and work my way up. "…Shit…I hate those things."

"Hate what, are you alright?" For a moment there she actually sounds concerned. I miss my Barbara. The only reason I continue parading around like this is so I can see her every night. Well, hear her at least. She's doing well believe it or not. She moved in with her father not too long ago and Bruce said she's been doing significantly better. I'm glad honestly; at least she can be okay…

"It was just a fire escape. Nothing but a hurt wrist. I'm sure I'll live." I stop moving and crouch again as the van pulls to a stop just off of Vine Avenue. The Joker jumps out and saunters into the building while the rest of the men transport the crates inside. "I guess we found it. Can you see this Oracle?"

"Yes, I see it. The Joker is also on the phone. He's talking to a man named Darwin Knight. I'm looking him up now… He seems to sell property illegally to villains around Gotham. We should set up a meeting. I have a current phone number here. 475-602-3048."

"Now isn't that your job Babs?" I can't help but tease her. I love it when she gets all flustered at me. She's too cute when she's flustered.

"Uh, well, no stop that! Fine…I'll call and set up and appointment." She clicks offline and I have nothing better to do than sit there on a ledge of the building in the rain and wait for her to come back online.

_Bloop. Bloop Bloop._

"You have a meeting in 15 minutes in Meadow Wind Park." I sneeze roughly before I can reply to her. Stupid Gotham winters…I'm going to be sick. Just watch.

"Sorry… Ya, I'll be there. Thanks"

"No problem at all." She signs off again and I'm off. This is going to be a long night.


	6. Chapter 6

Alright, still no reviews, but we're still going to go for it! I'm determined to get at least one review by stories end! Lol. Enjoy!

Barbara POV

I head out down the ramp my dad installed just for me to get out of the house. I moved in shortly after Dick's visit to my apartment. He made me realize how bad it was for my mental health, and Dad really wanted me to. I think he has been lonely since mom died, and it has helped a lot, I don't want to die anymore. Dick is waiting for me in his car to take me to Bruce's. I wish he wasn't so sweet to me, it reminds me of what we had once.

I get myself into the car, I've gotten better at getting in and out of places with time and practice. He puts my wheelchair into the back and hops into the driver's car. I'm a little more tense than normal. Bruce and Dick both decided that going in and taking down the Joker alone would be foolish, so the Huntress is coming to help him… I never liked her much in general, but now that she's taking my place at Dick's side in the field I'm going to have a hard time not hating her.

Dick keeps looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I try not to look back to often, I just want this to be over with and done. "So, tonight is the big night, we're going to take care of the Joker, maybe this time he will stay behind bars." I half laugh half grunt.

"Yeah, and pigs will fly." He smiles back and we continue towards Wayne Manor. We get out and I hop back into my chair and Dick pushes me up the massive hill. No way could I get myself up that, and it just rained, I'd probably slip right back down.

We walk into the doors and Helena is already waiting in the living room. She has that same gleam in her eye she always does when she's around Dick. I try not to let the green monster in my gut get to me, and I stare at my useless legs. "So, are we all ready for tonight Dick." She walks towards him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I love how I get completely ignored. I roll to the newly refurbished elevator and go down. I'm sure they'll catch up to me. They come down and suit up, then they leave. I put on my headset and prepare for a night of listening to Helena flirt viciously with Dick, and listen to Dick be oblivious t it back. The joys of being Oracle.

"Oracle, what address are we going to?" I hear the Huntress chime in my ear.

"103rd and vine Ave. It's a red brick building, it used to be a firehouse. You can't miss it."

"Thanks." At least she is easy to deal with. A few more minutes of silence before I hear them start to talk. They must think I'm offline because I'm the topic. Normally I am offline until Dick needs me, but I like to hear the conversations on a night like this.

"So are you and Babs still an item, or are you guys over."

"We broke up after the accident."

"Was it a mutual thing?" I feel like she is trying to slice me open.

"No I broke up with her, not mature or strong enough to be what she needs."

"Oh, well I can see where you would feel that way, It would be hard, being her nurse and her boyfriend." I am seething, I start tapping my fingers near the speaker thinking I'd get them to stop talking, but she continues. "Especially a wheelchair, you can't go anywhere. No vacations, no nothing. That just sucks."

"Yeah, I guess." I can tell he knows I'm here and I'm listening. So Helena probably knows to, she just doesn't care.

"Yeah, well no one blames you Dick. Anyone would have done it. I read somewhere that over 40% of people paralyzed below the waist are single for the rest of their lives." I hear his head shake, he must have nodded. I see them stop moving on the screen on the building above the location. Everything is blissfully quiet while I google search that statistic she brought up… It's right out of Wikipedia. The worst part of this is that Dick isn't defending me at all. More interested in agreeing with her and getting laid I'm sure.I try really hard not to cry. I distract myself by texting my dad.

"The Huntress is a bitch. That's all I have to say." I send the text and go back to listening. Eventually she talks again.

"You shouldn't tap your knuckles like that on the concrete, Wouldn't want your fingers to be hurt." He always taps his knuckles when he is nervous. He laughs lightly.

"Of all the things to worry about, why would I worry about scraping up my knuckles."

"Well they may come in handy later." Her tone is that sex kitten voice Her mother uses on Bruce. Finally I can't keep it to myself a moment longer.

"Wow, how easy can you be."

"About as easy as pushing you down a hill backwards." I gasp, and Dick stays silent again.

"Okay, then tell me about how easy it is when I'm gone." I take the headset off. If they need me then I'll get on again, but for now, I can't listen to that crap.

I see a rumpus start on the screen a few moments later, and not 30 seconds after that I hear Dick on the headpiece. "Oracle, send help now."

"Coming right up." I press the panic button and the bat-mobile takes off by itself to go get them. "Help is on the way. Just hold on." I see Dick's light start flashing red and his vitals drop on the screen. "Dick hold in there. The bat-mobile will make contact with you guys in 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1. I see the bat-mobile flash onto the screen and take off with Helena and Dick in tow.

"Dick are you alright, should I have Alfred on the ready when you arrive."

"Yes please Babs. Thank you." I get Alfred into the Batcave and explain what happened. He doesn't seem shocked.

"It's always harder than it should be to trick the Joker Miss Gordon." When the bat-mobile arrives, Alfred sets into action as I follow Helena up the stairs. I have a bone to pick with that bitch.

I go up the elevator and pop out right behind Helena. "Hey, What the fuck is your issue with me?" She turns around like a lioness about to pounce.

"I have no problem with you other than the way you bring Dick down." I snarl like an animal.

"I just saved both of your skins, and I bring him down! That's real rich. Now what is the real reason?"

"No you bring him down because he needs to move on, yet he gives you a ride and pushes your pathetic, useless ass up the hill everyday." I know I look hurt, her mission is accomplished and she turns to leave, but all of the sudden I'm just full of rage. I whip my arm across her knees and send her toppling to the ground. As soon as I do it I know I've bitten off more than I can chew.

She grabs me by the hair and lifts me out of the wheelchair holding me dangling in the air. "You're a worthless, pathetic, useless bitch. You think you can still be useful, then be useful by leaving. You're not part of the family anymore, you're just a charity, your father asked Bruce to have you do anything, something, but you're a nothing, one of Bruce's little failed works of pity." Just then Alfred walks in and pushes Helena back and lifts me back into my chair.

"I'm to ashamed to express at both of you girls." He just walks away. Helena stalks off angry, I wait until she's out of sight before I burst into tears at what she has said and Go towards the door. I stop before I open it and send my dad another text, "Can you come get me?" He replies almost immediately.

"I'm in the neighborhood actually, I'll be there in a second." I open the door and Dick is standing there. He sees my tears and panics as he always does.

"Babs, are you alright?" I try not to get any worse for wear, but I break down even more.

"Not even close. Don't come get me anymore. I'm done being a charity case, I'm not part of this family anymore." I see my dad's police cruiser pull up to the gate.

"If that's what you want." He sounds sad, but he was fine with agreeing with everything Helena said earlier.

"Yeah, you just stay with Helena, You agree on so much, she's perfect for you. At least now I finally have an answer as to why you left me." I start down the hill and I see my dad already out of the car and ready to put my wheelchair in the back.

THE NEXT NIGHT

I hear my cell phone ringing and I answer in a foggy haze. I answer, "Hey it's Bruce."

"Hey, what's up?"

"What happened Babs?" He sounds so concerned, just like he always does. How should I break this to him.

"Your bitch of a daughter." There, that was subtle.

"What happened though, I know you two don't exactly get along…"

"I lost my temper after she said some horrible things and I pushed her down, and she grabbed me by the hair and told me why I was really was Oracle..."

"Do you want to know why you're Oracle, Babs."

"Because my father asked for a favor and you owed him, and because you remember how great I was and didn't want me to lose myself completely."

"No. You're Oracle because I can't afford to lose you. You're a part of this team and you know it. Me, you and Dick. We were always a team. And He needs you just as much." I swallow hard.

"Is it really bad that I don't believe you…" Helena's words swirl in my head around and around. Just a charity.

"No it's not. I can understand why you don't believe me. But you should at least consider the possibility. You'll always be Batgirl to me. And to Dick. He needs you Babs. I think you even know that he needs you." He makes it so easy to believe him, but I remember what Dick agreed to last night and new tears spring up again.

"He doesn't need me, ask him what he agreed with over and over again last night. He thinks I'm just as useless as Helena said"

"Have you asked him yourself?" What a Batman thing to say. I know what I heard.

"Why should I have to. He said it, he didn't even know I was listening..."

"Babs... He needs you more than you know. If you don't want to continue the work I understand. Dick can't do anything for about a week while he heals so I guess if you want to continue you have a vacation."

"I'll tell you at the end of the week then... I'm sorry Bruce... I just, I need some time to mope around and hate myself." I sniffle and try to remain calm. I hate how words can hurt so much. I used to be made of steel.

"If you're sure Babs..."

"Bruce, a few months ago nothing could hurt me. Now I'm soft and words cut me like a knife… Any idea what happened?"

"Well, what do you have in mind?"

"That now I'm soft because my legs don't work and everything about me is uglier."

"Love yourself again." Wow Bruce, it's like he has no idea how anything works emotionally.

"Thanks Bruce, I'll get on that."

"Maybe talk to Dick, it might help"

"Or it may get a million times worse."

"You never know though. He's going to be pretty down this week. And you know how he gets when he is down."

"I don't want to talk to other sad people Bruce. That is the last thing I need right now."

"Alright, try to cheer up alright?"

"Okay Bruce, bye."

My dad walks into the kitchen, he doesn't think I should quit either. "You know Babs, I'll support you no matter what, but I don't think you're a quitter, no matter what ever happened you never quit." He smiles his half know it all smile and sips his coffee.

"Yeah, I know, Dad."

Dick POV

It's been days since I've seen Barbara last. To be honest, I feel like a complete asshole because of the last time I saw her. My shoulder is destroyed for the meantime and I partially hope it doesn't get better any time soon. I don't need a reason to go out and be Batman. I don't want to be Batman anymore. I should have just stayed away from the whole situation from the beginning.

I move myself off of my bed just as there is a knock on the door. Oh god, I really don't want to deal with anyone right now. I move as slowly to my front door as possible listening to the creaks in my floorboards and my joints popping from my restless sleep the night before. I open the door slowly only to reveal the one person I really didn't want to see. It takes everything I have not to just shut the door again. "Hey, Barbara…"

She is winded and there is a visible shaking in her arms. She must have wheeled herself here. "Hey, can I have a word?" Yeah, she came here on a mission. She really shouldn't have. "I'm just really sorry about all of this. Getting you shot and all…"

"Babs, I'm fine… Don't worry about it." In all honesty I look like crap. I haven't been able to do much and I have no motivation what so ever.

"Okay, I just feel responsible. Do you forgive me?" I don't need to forgive her, she didn't do anything wrong.

"Babs, like I said, don't worry about it. I'm just fine."

"But do you accept my apology? I'm also sorry for starting shit with Helena…" She needs to stop being sorry. She didn't do anything.

"Yeah… And don't worry about her. She needs it occasionally."

"Yeah I guess… Still want to be my partner?" Is this her missing me? No, she can't possibly miss me.

"…I'm not exactly sure I'm going back…" I move my good arm up to scratch my head lightly. I hope she doesn't get mad at me for this. It's the last thing I need right now.

"What…why?" She seems slightly stunned and upset by my sudden change of heart.

"I just don't know if I can do this… you know? I'm not good at this. Hell, I don't even want to be Nightwing. I just don't love what I do anymore." I look down at my feet so I don't have to make eye contact. I'm sure she is really upset now.

"Oh I see. That's good I guess. You should do what makes you happy Dick."

"That's the thing though. I don't know what makes me happy anymore." I'm spewing again. I should just shut up. She doesn't need to know this. Just like how Helena and me have been seeing each other on and off…

"I'm sure you'll figure it out Dick. You're good at that." She flashes this quick little smile at me. For a second it feels like the old days where she always supported me and loved to see me happy. Now I'm sure she'd just love to see me gone. All I did was ruin her life.

"Yeah I hope so…I'm not really good at anything so that rules out a giant chunk of the list."

She smiles again, but this time it is sincere and it pokes at this little spot in my chest that hasn't been seen in a long while. " You're good at a lot of things. Maybe try the circus again. Maybe try something completely different for awhile." You know, that is a…really good idea. I've been missing the circus for quite some time now. Maybe she is right. Something new can't be too bad.

"Yeah… Maybe you're right. I miss the circus a lot actually." I give her a toothy grin. She is so helpful at times. I don't know how I live without her. I wish I could have my Babs back though. Leaving her was the biggest mistake of my life.

She gives a grin almost identical to mine and it pokes at my chest again. "I'm glad. I hope it works out for you. Can I get a hug before you go?"

"Of course. I'm not just going to just leave you hanging. You're my girl." I don't know why on earth I said that but it makes the prodding in my chest stop for a moment. It feels good to say it.

"Thanks." She smiles bigger this time. Her cheeks even turn a slight pink color around the cute amount of freckles. I wish I could let her know that I still love her but that would probably be a bit too much for her. So I just bend down as much as I can and slide my arms around her slim torso. I pull her gently into my arms and about die when I realize what I'm doing. My head rests itself against her shoulder and her warm smell envelopes me. I missed hugging her…

"Can I still call you every so often?"

A small sigh escaped her lips along with an "Anytime you want." I don't want to let her go but I probably should. I shouldn't be over touchy. I set her back down in her chair and debate in my head quickly on whether I should kiss her or not but obviously my heart loses to my mind.

"Can I drive you home please? It'll give me a reason to get out of the house." I smile playfully at my poor attempts of flirting. Hopefully she doesn't notice it.

"Okay, sure. I'm not sure I could wheel back anyway."

"Alright. Then I will be happy to escort you home." Now I feel like a dweeb. I give a really cheesy smile in hopes of getting her to smile.

"Alright…" She is all quiet again. Okay…I should know better than to flirt with her. She doesn't like it. I don't blame her though…

"Yeah…" I grab my keys off of the hook next to the door and get ready for a very awkward drive to her place.


	7. Chapter 7

Alright now for things to start getting hard and less quick to update, my girlfriend and I decided that these chapters needed to be more in depth of their time apart from one another. They should be up at least every two days. Thanks for all the people who are reading.

Barbara POV

I roll up to Bruce's door and go ahead and knock. Alfred let me in and I roll to the living room. Bruce seems happy to see me and sits down on the couch next to me. "Hey Bruce, what's up?"

"Oh hey. Nothing really. What are you doing here?" He smiles genuinely at me and I almost break down. This has been an emotional day.

"I don't know, wondering what my new job is I guess." It's certainly not a lie.

"What do you mean?"

"Dick ran away to the circus… so I'm at a loss."

"What?" His reaction makes me laugh a little despite my horrid mood.

"He decided he needed something different in his life. He left yesterday. Sold his stuff and left…"

"Wow." Now Bruce has gone from stunned to absolutely livid very quickly. I just sit very quietly and wait for him to speak again. He starts off on a horrible tirade about how horrible and inconsiderate Dick is and blah blah blah." I roll into the kitchen and look at Alfred.

"Is everything alright miss?" I love how Alfred never changes, always ready to help.

"Yeah, Bruce just isn't worth talking to right now."

"If I may inquire, what set him off this time?" He smiles coyly and I laugh at the absurdity of what I say.

"Dick ran away to the circus, and now he's on a tirade."

"Well, that would do it, any idea why Master Richard did that?"

"I told him to do what makes him happy."

"Well, if it makes him happy then I'm glad he didn't hesitate to do it."

"Yeah, especially with Bruce." I laugh and he puts on some hot coco and gets out the marsh mellows and whip cream. He always knows exactly what I want.

"I miss him already."

"I'm sure he misses you to. If I may ask, what's your plan now Miss Gordon?"

"I guess I'm just going to make the best of it, maybe move out on my own again, try to find someone, move on best I can."

"I think that is very brave of you. You'll do just fine." He stirs milk into my hot coco and adds marsh mellows and whip cream on top.

"Thanks Alfred."

2 months later

I call up Bruce and he answers, I haven't heard word from him about a new position and have basically given up hope, but he's still my friend. He answers on the first ring.

"Hello?"  
"Hey Bruce, are you busy?"

"No, why?"

"Want to help me move?

"Yeah sure, where to?"

"My new place, I bought a house." He doesn't need to know I paid for it in full by selling Dick's vehicles after he left.

"Well, yeah, I'll be right over." Bruce keeps his word and is over in a few moments ready to help me move my pitiful amount of belongings to my new home. I'm ready to try living on my own again. My dad and him shake hands and chat while loading my dad's truck with my bed and Bruce's hummer with my Laz-E-Boys. The rest of the small boxes with my clothing in them can fit in the back seat of dad's truck. It only takes one trip, but at least I'm on my own, in a place I like.

"Barbara, can I take you shopping? I want this to be your dream home, and no money limit can be put on your happiness." I smile at Bruce. He is always so charming.

"I would like that a lot Bruce. Just don't tell my dad. I don't want him to get hurt feelings" After moving in the boxes and dad goes home, Bruce takes me shopping and I buy light sheer white curtains with a pink floral hem to match the paint I had done before moving in (aged white walls with rose trim). I also buy a kitchen table despite not needing one really, just for the homely feel, dishes, cookware, table clothes, bedding, a coffee table, a bookcase, some books, a few rugs, and some pretty lamps for indirect lighting. And beds and bedding for the two extra rooms. "Bruce, you're the best. Thank you so much. I know that it's a lot of money."

"You haven't even spent a paycheck for 15 minutes yet for me." I laugh.

"I wish I was a billionaire." He laughs back and helps me get everything into the house and set up. My dad bought me groceries to last until my disability check comes in. Bruce leaves and I sit down on my couch and turn on the tube. I should get a job. I get a phone call from Dick, right on schedule, he calls every Tuesday and Thursday at 6pm sharp. He is having the time of his life, and things are finally looking up for me to.

Dick POV

I love the circus. Smelling the air, helping to raise the trapeze, putting up tents, living in a trailer with a close-knit circus family that I love. I can't get enough of it. This is exactly what I needed, as usual, Babs was absolutely right. I feel like this is where I belong. I help my team-mate Maggie with setting up the trapeze for tonight's show in Brooklyn and I look over at her and laugh. "This is going to be awesome, Maggie." She smiles back.

"I know." She is like that all the time, very aloof, like she knows everything the minute before it happens. I like it. "I better get ready, you should to, the show start in an hour." She saunters off, I watch her lithe form move slowly out of sight and I move back to my trailer.

I apply glitter to my hair and face then pull on the long sleeved leotard and soft dance shoes to match. Tonight's color is red and silver. This is my favorite costume, I should remember this color combination. I add sequins to the corners of my eyes just for some extra razzle dazzle, then sit back, 45 minutes until show time and I'm back to doing what I always do when I'm alone and don't have anything better to be doing. I think of Babs.

Despite trying to move on, a few flings here and there, no one can impress me. She is my star. I pick up my cell phone and do what I always do before show time, give her a call just to check in. She answers after the first ring.

"Hey, Dick! How are you doing!" She sounds excited about something.

"I'm doing just fine, how have you been?"

"I'm doing great! I moved into my house today! Bruce bought me furniture and things to make it feel more like home. I've haven't been this happy in a long time. It is exactly what I need. All it is missing is a peep hole that is my height, but my dad will get to it sometime I'm sure. I'm just so excited." I can already tell this conversation isn't for her to hear about me, it's an excuse for her to tell me everything. I smile and get happy for her in all the right places. I love listening to her be happy again. It's nice that things are going well.

About 30 minutes into the call, right in the middle of Bab's tirade about how she got theses magnificent sheer curtains which add the perfect touch to her home and me laughing to myself because she is so excited, a loud banging knocks on the side of my trailer.

"Hey, Dick, it's show time." It's Maggie, she's so blunt. Suddenly I realize something, I like Maggie and it's not fair to either of us.

"Hey Babs, I've got to go, it's time for the show. I'll call you on Thursday okay."

"Oh, okay, Dick. Break a leg." My hanging up doesn't seem to have affected Bab's great mood at all. I open my trailer door. Maggie is in matching red and silver, her brown hair tied up in a pony tail with sprayed in silver streaks.

"Okay lets go!" She starts to hop away, she always gets antsy before shows. I follow her deep in thought, I like Maggie, but she's not even close to Babs.

Please review


	8. Chapter 8

Okay here it goes. Nothing more to say really.

Barbara POV

It has been a few months since Dick left, I've just been living my life day by day trying not to think to hard on it. I really do like my life now, thinking back a few months to when the accident happened, I'm so grateful to everyone in my life because without them I wouldn't be here today. The idea that at one point I would have given up my life and what I have to be dead is atrocious, a crime.

I smile as I wheel in between pottery wheels and people. I recently found a job at the events center as a ceramics instructor. I think that it is a blast! It's so much fun, and it's a part-time job that gets me out of the house and a little extra cash. The house is paid for, and even part-time I'm making enough to cover bills and groceries, which is really all I need. So I signed off of disability checks, they can give the money to someone who needs it more than me.

I help a man who is about 24 center his clay on the wheel and he thanks me then his eyes stay locked on mine for a moment like he wants to ask me something else. "Anything else I can help you with?" He smiles shyly.

"Well, not with clay, I was wondering if you were busy on Friday night, if I could take you out to dinner?" I am shocked, no one has asked me on a date in a very long time. He waits expectantly while I think of Dick. He would want me to move on, at least give this guy a try. I think his name is Sam.

"Yeah, I'd like that a lot." I quickly jot down my phone number and put it in his pocket for him sense his hands are muddy.

"Thanks Barbara." I smile and roll away to help the other people in my class. Mostly old ladies looking for a hobby, and teenagers who had to have an extra curricular activity. Sam apparently was here for me. I smile at the thought and try to ignore the itching in my brain telling me I'm not ready and that Dick is all I want.

THAT FRIDAY NIGHT

As promised, Sam cam and picked me up at precisely 6:30 on Friday night. Tomorrow is Saturday, so I don't need to be back early or anything, but something deep down inside of me wants to be back early anyway. I throw myself into the passenger seat of his car, and he folds up and puts my wheelchair in back. It reminds me of when Dick used to give me rides, but this is a 1989 gray Mazda instead of a Corvet or anything of the Corvet breed.

"Your house is really pretty." I know it is, I had Tim, Bruce, and my dad come over and help me garden a few weeks ago, all of the flowers are blooming in the springtime, it is wonderful.

"Thank you, I try really hard to keep things nice." The rest of the night went like this, light and fluffy and easy to talk about. Sam is an engineer, he started throwing because he saw me going to the class while he was playing basketball. I was flattered, laughed in all the right laces, and when he dropped me off at 9:30 he kissed my cheek and I decided to allow him to take me on a second date. He is nothing special, but maybe I should settle.

I get myself onto the couch and call back Dick. I don't know if the show is over or not, but I missed his call earlier. He answers on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dick, just me. Sorry I missed your call, I was out."

"Oh, well good. The show jut ended, but I'm with some people, can I call you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, of course, just checking in. Bye." I have a feeling it isn't a few people, but just one person. Just like what I did tonight. My hear sinks low as I realize over and over again that he ahs moved on. I go to bed thinking about Sam and trying to convince myself he is just as good.

DICK POV

I continue panting hot and heavy on top of Maggie. She is so beautiful, so soft, so amazing. She is moaning underneath me low and animalistic, I try to ignore it. I don't like it, I have known for weeks I don't like it because it isn't anything like Babs and her soft sighing sounds. This is completely different and I want it to be the same.

I finish inside of her and roll off. She curls into my side, making me uncomfortable, Babs always stayed separate, not very big on cuddling without a sheet in between us, it was always to stick and gross she thought. I mentally slap myself, this isn't Babs, this is Maggie and there is nothing wrong with her.

My phone rings and I answer, it's Babs. "Hello?" I answer a little out of breath try to sound normal.

"Hey Dick, just me. Sorry I missed your call, I was out." I'm sure you were out with Bruce or Tim or your dad. I'm such a horrid person.

"Oh, well good. The show jut ended, but I'm with some people, can I call you tomorrow?" I'm a lying horrible person.

"Yeah, of course, just checking in. Bye." I hang up and try not to think about it.

"Who was that?" Maggie asks quietly and a little suspicious. Babs never got jealous.

"Just an old friend." She drops the topic.


	9. Chapter 9

Okay here it goes. Nothing more to say really.

Barbara POV

It has been a few months since Dick left, I've just been living my life day by day trying not to think to hard on it. I really do like my life now, thinking back a few months to when the accident happened, I'm so grateful to everyone in my life because without them I wouldn't be here today. The idea that at one point I would have given up my life and what I have to be dead is atrocious, a crime.

I smile as I wheel in between pottery wheels and people. I recently found a job at the events center as a ceramics instructor. I think that it is a blast! It's so much fun, and it's a part-time job that gets me out of the house and a little extra cash. The house is paid for, and even part-time I'm making enough to cover bills and groceries, which is really all I need. So I signed off of disability checks, they can give the money to someone who needs it more than me.

I help a man who is about 24 center his clay on the wheel and he thanks me then his eyes stay locked on mine for a moment like he wants to ask me something else. "Anything else I can help you with?" He smiles shyly.

"Well, not with clay, I was wondering if you were busy on Friday night, if I could take you out to dinner?" I am shocked, no one has asked me on a date in a very long time. He waits expectantly while I think of Dick. He would want me to move on, at least give this guy a try. I think his name is Sam.

"Yeah, I'd like that a lot." I quickly jot down my phone number and put it in his pocket for him sense his hands are muddy.

"Thanks Barbara." I smile and roll away to help the other people in my class. Mostly old ladies looking for a hobby, and teenagers who had to have an extra curricular activity. Sam apparently was here for me. I smile at the thought and try to ignore the itching in my brain telling me I'm not ready and that Dick is all I want.

THAT FRIDAY NIGHT

As promised, Sam cam and picked me up at precisely 6:30 on Friday night. Tomorrow is Saturday, so I don't need to be back early or anything, but something deep down inside of me wants to be back early anyway. I throw myself into the passenger seat of his car, and he folds up and puts my wheelchair in back. It reminds me of when Dick used to give me rides, but this is a 1989 gray Mazda instead of a Corvet or anything of the Corvet breed.

"Your house is really pretty." I know it is, I had Tim, Bruce, and my dad come over and help me garden a few weeks ago, all of the flowers are blooming in the springtime, it is wonderful.

"Thank you, I try really hard to keep things nice." The rest of the night went like this, light and fluffy and easy to talk about. Sam is an engineer, he started throwing because he saw me going to the class while he was playing basketball. I was flattered, laughed in all the right laces, and when he dropped me off at 9:30 he kissed my cheek and I decided to allow him to take me on a second date. He is nothing special, but maybe I should settle.

I get myself onto the couch and call back Dick. I don't know if the show is over or not, but I missed his call earlier. He answers on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dick, just me. Sorry I missed your call, I was out."

"Oh, well good. The show jut ended, but I'm with some people, can I call you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, of course, just checking in. Bye." I have a feeling it isn't a few people, but just one person. Just like what I did tonight. My hear sinks low as I realize over and over again that he ahs moved on. I go to bed thinking about Sam and trying to convince myself he is just as good.

DICK POV

I continue panting hot and heavy on top of Maggie. She is so beautiful, so soft, so amazing. She is moaning underneath me low and animalistic, I try to ignore it. I don't like it, I have known for weeks I don't like it because it isn't anything like Babs and her soft sighing sounds. This is completely different and I want it to be the same.

I finish inside of her and roll off. She curls into my side, making me uncomfortable, Babs always stayed separate, not very big on cuddling without a sheet in between us, it was always to stick and gross she thought. I mentally slap myself, this isn't Babs, this is Maggie and there is nothing wrong with her.

My phone rings and I answer, it's Babs. "Hello?" I answer a little out of breath try to sound normal.

"Hey Dick, just me. Sorry I missed your call, I was out." I'm sure you were out with Bruce or Tim or your dad. I'm such a horrid person.

"Oh, well good. The show jut ended, but I'm with some people, can I call you tomorrow?" I'm a lying horrible person.

"Yeah, of course, just checking in. Bye." I hang up and try not to think about it.

"Who was that?" Maggie asks quietly and a little suspicious. Babs never got jealous.

"Just an old friend." She drops the topic.


	10. Chapter 10

Well the end of this story is written, but it is left open… I fi get ONE REVIEW asking me to do a sequel, I will just one.

Barbara POV

I roll around feeling short and out of place. My father is by my side and I move myself around, purposely picking out a dress with short sleeves so I have full movement of my arms to roll around. My father has "danced" with me all night, as well as Bruce, Tim, and a few others who have simply asked me. Probably fascinated by the way I can keep up with my partners by moving quickly with them in circles or letting my dad tilt my chair back like a dip. I laugh every time he does it. There is one person who keeps my dance card from reaching full though, and that is Dick. He hasn't asked me yet. I don't know why. I'm about to just ask him.

The party is also filled with faces I'm not so happy to see, at least a hundred very rich and prominent people from Gotham, here to welcome Dick home with gracious amounts of money and congratulations on doing something so outrageous like joining the circus, especially after his "horrible plight" with his parents beforehand. Honestly these people are so predictable.

I can see Dick in the corner talking to a very wealthy looking woman in a red dress with matching lipstick. I smooth out my knee length silver party dress and make sure everything is in place before rolling over. I can tell I make the woman nervous, people don't really know how to act around someone in a wheelchair. Should they pretend it isn't there? Or should they act extra sympathetic. She quickly comes up with an excuse and leaves. Dick laughs because I smile after her like her awkwardness is the funniest thing in the world.

"You haven't changed a bit, Babs. How are you?" I smile, hearing him in person is so nice. I've missed him more than I knew.

"I'm well, and yourself?" I look up at him and wish he wasn't so much taller than me, wish I could stand up. I'd do anything to be eye level with someone.

"I'm okay... Just here I guess. It's been so long since I've wore a suit. It's weird." He hasn't changed at all either, always the perfect ward of Bruce Wayne when the occasion arrives.

"Well, would you like to dance with me?" I smile worried he will say no, but he just grins at me back.

"Of course I would, but why?"

"My dance card isn't full, you could be my last slot." He grins even wider and I roll out to the dance floor with him. He must have been watching my dad very closely, because it took my dad and I weeks to figure out how to dance with me, where Dick just picked it up immediately. I laugh as he twirls me around in my chair. When we are done he kisses my hand.

"I love seeing you happy again, Babs." I smile up at him, butterflies in my stomach from the burning kiss on my hand.

"I'm glad you're back, Dick. It's wonderful to see you again." I look over at Bruce busying himself with Luscious and I'm a sure private affair. Helena is in a long navy blue gown, being a right bitch as always I'm sure. Tim looks striking in a suit and tie, but in an awkward teenaged way. Still tall and lanky and unsure of where he begins and ends. Alfred is making polite conversation with my father, and everyone else is mingling, talking about their trust funds I'm sure. Dick hates these parties just as much as me. "Where will you be staying? Here with Bruce until you find a place?" He just looks at me and laughs.

"You know me, Babs. I'd rather die then stay here where Bruce is in charge of me. I'll figure out something."

"I'd rather hear a plan. You can stay with me until you find a place. There are only a few rules and I have 2 empty rooms."

"Babs, you really shouldn't have to put up with me. I'll find somewhere else." He is always so kind to me.

"It really is no trouble. We desperately need to catch up, and it isn't for long, only until you find a place." The truth is, I'm hoping to rekindle something… maybe he has grown up, maybe he will want me now. I know it is a long shot, but maybe a few days of us being like old times might help. I have no proof of that, and I'm over him enough to move on and continue as usual if he doesn't want me still, but it is worth a shot to me, to try for it.

"Babs...If you insist." He gives up. He knows better than to argue with me on this one, and I wont have him sleeping on the streets. All the pieces are playing perfectly. I roll up towards Bruce and tell him that I am retiring and thank him very much for being such a wonderful host. He wont even notice Dick leave with me, this night was mostly for him and I can tell. I feel the beautiful women's eyes on me as I roll away, and a few whispers to Bruce, "So is that the commissioners daughter" "Oh, so tragic, really. Simply tragic." "She's so beautiful, she glows still." I grab Dick's and and lead us out, my father following behind, he is my ride.

LATER

I unlock my front door and roll inside, taking off my high hells and set them in my lap. "I don't even have to walk in them and I still cannot stand them. I don't know how I used to do it." I turn and look towards him. "Just take off your shoes at the door, I will wake you up for breakfast in the morning." He smiles at me.

"You've become quite the home owner, this is beautiful." I can't help but grin at his comment. Impressing him must be working out, I really want this to happen. It's a long shot, but I really do.

"Well thank you Dick. Your room is down the hall and to the right, the bathroom is right next door to it." I smile and roll into my room and start the arduous process of getting dressed and ready for bed. I brush my long hair out and braid it, then pull my baggy t-shirt over my head and put on a pair of panties. I roll out to the kitchen and get a glass of water and take my pills then head back towards my room. I see Dick throwing a backpack on the bed and pulling off his jeans to sleep in his boxers. He sees me watching and smiles. I smile back and do a small wave before darting into my room.

I pull myself into bed and close my eyes. I clap and the lights turn out It's nice to know he is in the next room. It'd be better if he were in here, but for now this will suffice.

DICK POV

That smell is wonderful. Like Blueberry muffins. Bab's blueberry muffins…

I move myself into a sitting position in the bed and begin to rub the sleep from my eyes. I can't believe I'm here in Gotham again. It's weird being here and not waiting for my next act and wearing leotards around everywhere, but it is home. I needed my home again. Flinging the blanket to the side I stand up lazily and shuffle out of the room. The smell is just more amazing and my mouth is practically watering. I drag myself into the kitchen where Babs is waiting patiently at the counter. She must have just taken them out of the oven; they smell wonderful.

"Hey, I had your favorite." She smiles at me and I can't help but feel a small twinge in my chest. I haven't had one of those in a very long time.

"Those smell amazing." I grin goofily. Her muffins are my weakness I swear.

"I'm glad. I even have cold syrup for you." There is that smile again. I wait patiently as she pops a few out of the pan and places them on a plate and fills the little cup-like holes in the muffins with syrup. She knows just how to treat me. She barely hands them to me before they are already devoured. I love these things.

She smiles again lightly, "I'm glad you missed my cooking."

"Are you kidding? I love your cooking. I've lived off of circus food for a year. This is the best thing I've ever had in my life."

"Well I'm flattered." She laughs slightly and moves backwards grabbing a steaming mug and hands it to me. Muffins and coffee. Amazing. Only then do I notice everything around me. It feels like home here. I smile and take a sip of the warm liquid.

I gulp heavily as my eyes trace her outline lightly. She is wearing this really nice Batman shirt with a skirt that helps show off her legs. She is as gorgeous as she has always been. My eyes move back to the cup in my hand and then to my boxers resting on my hips. I look lazy compared to her.

"You've gotten thinner Dick. I'll have to fatten you up a bit."

I grin sarcastically at her. "Oh yeah? If you keep baking like this I don't think you will have a problem with that at all."

"I bake a lot now."

"Well, I don't mind. I love your baking." What am I doing? Flirting? Dick don't be a dumbass.

"Well, I don't mind baking for you either." She says it in this way that makes my groin ache. Babs has always had an amazing way of flirting back and boy did I miss it. I guess that was a better reply than I usually get. Maybe she likes me again. Maybe a bit…

I wish she hadn't of done that though. Now my eyes can't leave her curves alone. I honestly probably look like a pig but I just cant help myself. The Grayson hasn't gotten any love lately. She looks up at me and smiles while pulling herself up onto the counter. All the while my eyes still can't leave her. They roam up her soft legs to the curve of her butt and I can feel the start of my blood flowing down south. She reaches up slowly and opens the cupboard above her head. Her shirt lifts up slightly showing off her toned stomach while she grabs the jar of honey. She sets the honey down and rearranges herself into a sitting position. She leans forward and slowly covers her muffin in the honey. Her breasts seem to practically be popping out of her shirt with the amount of cleavage being shown. Oh, blood, please come back to my brain. I may do something stupid.

"So what are your plans for the day?" Some of the honey rolls off of the muffin onto her finger as she takes a bite.

"Well…I'm not sure." She rolls her tongue over her fingers licking up the sticky liquid and I'm about die. "I'll be back in just a second!"

I practically ran to the bathroom and shut the door just as she replies with an "Okay…?" I have to fix myself. This shouldn't take too long. The ache in my boxers is just too much at the moment and I can't have her seeing me like this. I pull myself up onto the counter and reach into my blue plaid cotton boxers. This shouldn't be a problem at all.

15 minutes later

I open the door to the bathroom slowly and move my way back out to the kitchen. Babs obviously isn't there so I try the living room. I move around the corner and I see her lounging across the couch. She is honestly looking good though. She spots me and just smiles, "So how was your sleep?"

"It was pretty good. Your house is quite comfortable." I slept like a baby. I love being in her home.

"Thank you. I try my best." There is that flirty tone again. Oh, I wish she didn't do that. I just got myself fixed.

"Yeah. Ahem. So, how have you been lately?" I desperately try to change the subject. I give her a small smile to try and cover it up though.

"Really good. Just life and stuff. How about yourself?"

"I've been okay. Just busy and slightly worried. I may be an adult now but Bruce is still scary to think about coming home to. You know?"

"I bet. He's intimidating."

"Did he miss me or anything while I was gone…?" I've been curious the whole time as to if he cared or not. He may not be my real father but he is the closest I have to one.

"A ton. He always talked about you."

"Oh… Well I'm glad. I missed him too." I missed everyone though. The circus didn't belong to me anymore. 10 years ago it would have but not anymore. My life is completely different than what my parents had.

"Yeah, Him and Alfred missed you."

"Did you miss me?" I can't help but ask. I need to know.

"Of course I did Dick. More than anything."

"I missed you too. Part of me really regrets leaving." I hated be away from her. Every night I ended up thinking about her when I laid in bed half awake in the middle of the night. I would have called her more often but I figured she needed the distance.

"Don't regret anything. You wanted it at the time." She's right but I wanted to be here so much more.

"Yeah, But it wasn't home you know?"

"Yeah, I understand." She smiles again and I have a massive urge to tell her that I love her, but I swallow it down just like I always do now.

YAY fluffy love chapter, reunited. please review.


	11. Chapter 11

Still going for it, lol I'm doing laundry in the basement of my dorm, and decided that I will try to finish the unfinished chapters now.

Barbara POV

I sit in the batcave and stare at the screen working on my new profile. Bruce isn't as talkative of a Batman as Dick is. I change my picture so a cool one I made of myself on Photoshop in the batcave with the headset, etc. Then my new bio is typed as great with computers, partner to all of the bat-family, you know, all of that jazz. It's because I'm awesome.

"Oracle, stop changing our bios and send me the blueprints to Arkham asylum, I need to know where the inmates are hiding the ringleader here."

"Yes, of course." I send them then go back to my actual job of researching. There was another breakout, no surprise. There.

I hear my phone buzz, it's Dick. "hey" Says the text message.

"Hey, what's up? I'm working."

"Oh, not interrupting am I?"

"No, just a breakout at Arkham, what else is new, right?"

"Lol totally. So the circus will be in Gotham in a few months, I'm thinking I'm gonna stay behind when they leave."

"Are you sure you want to do that? You enjoy the circus so much." But on the inside I'm throwing a party. I'm determined that if I want him back enough I can get him back. I am at least going to try, I wont be able to live with myself until I try. I can't move on until I know for sure.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I miss Gotham, being away has helped me realize that." I smile. I'm going to try.

"Well good. I'm glad you've made a decision, keep me posted, I can't wait to see you." Now I can tell Sam it's over. I can't keep dating him, I don't even come close to loving him, he is a good friend. And in a few months Dick will be back and I can try and finally ease my mind. I need to know for sure that it is really over.

DICK POV

I smile as I put down my cell phone. She may not still love me, but I still love her, and if it means coming all the way back to Gotham and Bruce and that goddamn madman the Joker, then that is what I will do. Even if I can only ever be her friend, I will stay by her and take care of her and tell her I love her everyday. That is a promise I will keep.

COMING HOME (3 MONTHS LATER)

I miss her. After all the time I've been gone I miss Babs the most. Maggie left me a while ago because "I'm still in love with her and a blind person could see it." I don't see it though and I guess Babs doesn't either. So maybe Maggie was just trying to find an excuse to leave me. Who knows though?

Tonight we are going to be in Gotham again and I'm nervous. My family is going to be there to see me. Maybe Babs will be too…

I'm mainly nervous because of the last time I was in the circus and in Gotham my parents were murdered. I don't think I've quite gotten over it. Babs says it's nothing to worry about and that it will be just fine but I'm just worried.

I look around my cruddy trailer and mentally kick myself for everything that has happened in the past year and a half. On the wall near my bed is a picture of all of us together. Bruce, Tim, Alfred, Babs, and myself. We look so happy. I bet she is happy. Look at me; I'm a pathetic asshole who left her when she needed me most. No wonder the girls avoid me.

I move my hand over the picture and lightly remove it from the wall and place it in my small backpack. I came to the circus with nothing and I'll be leaving with nothing. I have a few small articles of clothing and that picture. Sure, I made some money but it doesn't mean anything to me. I gave it to Maggie in hopes of redeeming our shitty relationship. Money is useless to me and if it made me happy that's just fine I suppose.

Now all I have left is to think about what I want with my life. I know who I want in it but I can't tell her that. I know when I go back Bruce will want me to be Batman again, but I can't handle that right now. I don't want to be his little crony anymore. That was the best part about being Nightwing. I didn't have to listen to Bruce. I'm sure he's had Babs working for him again and I seriously want to beat him for it. Batman has ruined her life enough as it is. Maybe I do still care? I shouldn't, we have moved on and there is no chance of an "us" anymore. Maybe Helena would bother seeing me again. She is the closest thing I could have to romance in Gotham.

"Hey Dick, we should start practicing." The banging on my door could only be Maggie. Even though we haven't been together for a while she insists on training with me. I think it was a fetish of hers of something. I mean she did like the tights…

"Yeah, I'll be there in a second." I hear her light footsteps move away from my trailer and I let out a sigh. I just hope this goes well. The show must go on, right?

The Show

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! BOYS AND GIRLS! AUDIENCE MEMBERS OF ALL AGES! THE NEXT ACT IS DANGEROUS AND DARING! THE SON OF THE GREAT LEGENDS THE FLYING GRAYSONS! HE IS BACK TO SHOW OFF HIS MASTERFUL SKILLS! THE FLYING RICHARD GRAYSON!" Monsieur Loyal is quite the entertainer himself. I leap from my position in the rafters and catch myself on the swinging bar. The audience gasps and I just smile. I love the attention. I flip myself across onto the landing and take a small bow. I try not to squint with glitter in ym right eye.

Below me clowns are setting the safety net on fire and laughing about it. I wish I knew where Babs was. I can't help but show off for her. As I stand back up from the bow I lean forward and free fall. I sure hope she sees this. Before I reach the net I fling a grapple back up and snag the bar. I swing myself up with my momentum and continue from there. The net burns away slowly and I just smirk. I'm good at what I do and I know it. I just hope she likes it…I perform another flip as I fly into the air. The show always goes on.

The After Party

About halfway through the show I managed to find Babs. So I'm on my way to see them. Right as I walk up I hear a "You always manage to get the best seats Babs!" from Tim and I can't help but laugh.

"And here I thought my family was dysfunctional." Babs smiles at my comment and rolls right up to me and hugs my waist. I smile and hug her back the best I can. I missed her a ton.

"Alright lets go home guys."


	12. Chapter 12

OOOH I got another review! :D You two people rock. I'm surprised we don't get more reviews to. :P Aren't we all. Last chapter

DICK POC

I never thought I'd be so scared in my life. This woman has done nothing but scare me. But she is entirely worth it and I can't explain how much I love her. Barbara Gordon is the woman I love with my whole heart. Now, if only she knew it.

She is still asleep on the small white bed in the hospital room. She looks like hell with the bruises and cuts that have formed along her body. Her lovely red hair has started to mat because of the neglect and her skin is just as pale as ever, possibly even a few shades lighter. She had her surgery today. Another spinal surgery to set everything back in place. Her beautiful body is scarred because of that monster and there was nothing I could do to help. I was useless. I get out a comb and start to meticulously comb her curls just so it'll be nice when she wakes up.

I sigh and lightly rub my eyes. I have been here for a few days straight. The doctors and Bruce have asked me to go home and rest up, but I cant do that. I can't allow myself to leave her again. Every time I leave her something like this happens. Yes, I do blame myself. Again. I shouldn't have left her alone. The only thing that scares me more than anything though is that she could have died and she would have never known that I loved her. I have always loved her.

A small groan brings my attention immediately to her body shifting its weight. Her blue eyes flutter open slowly and she sighs heavily.

"Babs?" I swallow the massive knot in my throat for a moment.

"Huh?" She blinks slowly for a bit. I imagine her vision must be very blurry by now.

"Hey, how are you doing? How're you feeling?" She grumbles lowly for a few seconds before replying.

"Drugged. I feel drugged."

"Oh, well I imagine so. You've been out for awhile sleepyhead."

"What has happened?" She suddenly jerks upright, causing my heart to explode inwardly, and moves her hand to her head. She holds her hand there for a moment before laying back down. By this time I have already moved over to her.

"Babs, you need to stay laying down. You'll hurt yourself." I move my hand on top of hers and smile down at her. God, she just loves to give me a heart attack. I don't think I've ever been so scared.

"What happened? I'll hurt myself? Fill me in." She doesn't really ask. It's a demand.

"Alright… Well, what was the last thing you remember?" I hate giving news like this. It makes me hate myself just a bit more.

"The Joker, my dad killed him, and Bruce took the blame, and then the ambulance ride here. I don't remember getting here though." She seems so scared. I hate seeing her scared. If only I could make this better…

"Alright, well…you had to have another spine surgery. It wasn't anything major, just replaced the replacement disk along your spine. They wanted to make sure you would be okay."

"Oh…Okay. Great, now I wont be able to do anything and Susan will have to come back." She sighs heavily at the end of this. I could take care of her. I want to take care of her.

"Well…Babs…You know she doesn't have to come back." I move back into my seat now. I have to brace myself for this. I was never to good with telling girls that I care about them.

"Why not?" Very blunt Babs. Very blunt.

"Well…Because you have me…" I turn my eyes to ground. Right then I notice a small spot of mud clumped onto my right shoe. Oh how interesting…

"I won't put you through that. I'm incredibly needy." She laughs lightly at her attempt of a bad joke.

"Babs, I want to though. I want to be there to help you."

"Are you sure you know what you are getting into?" She gives me this look. And if you have ever spent more 10 minutes with Babs you will have seem this look. It's a very distinct look that makes you just want to either crumple up and roll away or just beg her to love you (Depending on your mood).

"Yeah! I know Babs. I want to do this." If only I could just say 'Yes Babs, I want to do it because I love you more than anything on this planet.'

"What are you trying to say?" There is that look again…

"What do you mean...?"

"You wouldn't offer if there wasn't a reason." Am I honestly that cold…? I look up at her with this. Her eyes catch mine in a daze and I can't move them away. I need to say it.

"Because I love you Babs…And I'm so scared that I'm going to lose you. I never want to be this scared again…" There! It's in the open. Universe please be kind to me…

"You-you love me? Really?" Her features soften and she stares at me all stunned. Wasn't it obvious?

"Yeah… I've never stopped loving you."

"I-I've never stopped loving you either." Only then did it become apparent to me that the medication she is on is causing her to become drowsy again. Just my luck huh?"

"Babs…I don't want to live without you ever again. I love you…"

She sighs lightly as her eyes start to shut.

"Me either…I love you. Be with me forever." My heart starts to viciously pound in my ears. She really does love me.

"I'd love to babe." Too late Dick. She's already peacefully asleep. I sigh lightly and rub my forehead. I can't believe I just told her that after so long.

Prologue: Several months later

Barbara POV

Dick lovingly places me in the bed. We are both sweaty and panting, him a little more so than me. I reach around and unclasp the lingerie and take it off. Despite being about as done and spent as a man can be Dick comes over and places his head on my chest gently caressing my breast.

"I never thought I'd be able to do this again." I whisper softly. It's true. I never thought I'd ever get to feel this again after the accident. That no one would put up with me.

"It just took practice to get it absolutely right." He looks up at me and smiles, still red in the face and panting slightly.

"Yeah, I think we had it perfect the second time, but the third and fourth weren't bad either." He laughs lightly and my eyes start to close softly as he kisses my cheek.

"I love you, Babs. See you tonight my perfect Oracle."

Okay that's it. If you people want a sequel let me know.


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